You’re about to attend Lord Quinten Daventry’s birthday party? Is this a special occasion?
Well It’s generally a damn good bash, and Quinten usually invites a good array of fine young fillies to enjoy me!
What will you be wearing?
White tie and tails as ever – the ladies are like putty in my hands when I dress like that. Better get my dickie stiffened; no one likes to see that floppy.
Are you buying Lord Q a present?
Good Lord no, he owes me a small bloody fortune. The scallywag deserves nothing more from me. In fact I wonder who’s covering the cost of the bloody party.
Are you currently in a relationship – with whom? Or how is your love life?
Now young lady, I would normally be asking that question of you. I can tell you’re looking at me in that special way ladies do look at me. If all else fails, me and my mate five fingered Freddie can fall back on each other – ahem, so to speak – for a relationship.
If you were Prime Minister what’s the first thing you would do?
Well I’d put a stop to that ludicrous idea of women voting. They don’t need to worry their pretty heads with such things. That’s men’s business. And always has been.